That Tattoo Girl

Docking a Confession

The memory hangs around
My neck like an albatross
A rubber band
A puppy
And its tail

He said it was the only way
And so I watched
A sore little animal
And its rot…

It's no coincidence
the Rottweiler puppy
while I just watched it
rotting more and more
his sweet little face
so much in pain

But I also remember
my inability to free him
The fear
and I am ashamed
Even 18 years later
I am ashamed…

II.

And I know
that when the day comes
When I finally meet my maker
It WILL ask me

WHY
And it will ask me
HOW
And all I’ll be able to answer
While on my knees
Is that
I was once such a puppy
Strangled and bruised
And punished for my nature

A rotting while girl
Who had failed to hear the door knock one night
So bursting through the doors
he took that girl by the neck
who had been just so tired
So tired
That she had just failed to hear the door knock
that night

But the albatross still weighs so heavily
It doesn’t matter
Genesis 1:26
Genesis 1:26
Genesis 1:26

And now, if I could do it again
I’d take a gun
And shoot to kill that image
who had been left to rule
that puppy and that girl

III.

And he will beg for my mercy
And he will say he is a changed man
And I will nod as I wave that gun
And congratulate him on his growth
But then I will enlighten him
That I am also
A changed woman
And in a moment of clarity
His eyes will widen
in the same kind of fear
And he will feel that albatross
As it, at last, leaves me
And flocks to him
As I pull the trigger
And send him
and his soul
to dock finally

into hell